The rise and fall of Britney Spears – Part 8
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Britney Spears has begun the process of reinvention a trick she may have learned from her one-time, Kabbalah-toting, secret handshake-making, kissing buddy, Madonna. It’s a pretty nifty concept, if you can pull it off. One that can earn a superstar more bangs for her promotional bucks.
Britney’s emergence from the dwindling cocoon of forced solitude (if you call infrequent beefy appearances on the front of the Star, the Enquirer and Us solitude) began with a haircut. This was not just a change in style, but a neo-Nazi, guerilla emblazoned act of follicle aggression, that left the tragic pop-tart a little bald, and just a little mental. Or was she a tad mental prior to the barbershop incident and her little bout with rehab? Only time will tell. But this was only the beginning.
Now, just the other night at the House of Blues in San Diego, Britney’s new butterfly wings’ were clearly visible as she performed a 14 minute surprise concert under the mysterious marquee name of The M&Ms. Adolescent girls and hairstylists screamed uncontrollably (nothing new) and teenage boys were overcome with misdirected lust (is Britney really necessary for this?) in a sweetly condensed performance that included many of Spear’s catalog standards, such as “Hit Me Baby (One More Time)”. There was burlesque chair dancing by Spears, sporting white go-go boots and a pink studded bra, lascivious breathy moans, and a brown fright wig that practically dwarfed her poor, dome-shaped noggin.
But the most difficult part of the metamorphosis is out of the way. Ms. Ex-Federline now stands, poised on the precipice of precious re-stardom. Skeptics wonder if she will have the entertainment staying power of a mogul like Madonna. But those of us who hold a special place in our heart for the mostly misunderstood and savagely maligned pop wonder have no doubt concerning the future of her brilliant career.
Now that all of the men are out of the way and clean slates are in order, only one question remains: What will Bit-Bit do? The emergence of a pocket dog (though we are already keenly aware of his existence) at this point in Britney’s rebirth could be a severe detriment to her escalating media credibility. Bit-Bit was a celebrity in his own right during Britney’s “I’m a Slave 4 U” period. Tabloids were willing to pay top dollar for candid shots of the cherished pup swilling champagne on the patio of the Hotel Bel-Air. Unfortunately, the popularity associated with the possession of such obnoxiously miniature pets reached its peak with Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie’s feud over the pocket dog they shared together, Baby Luv. The tiny mongrels are now considered pass and have been blacklisted by A-list photographers and prime media-exposure generators.
Britney has such a significant chance at a successful reemergence to the top of the pop star heap. Let’s pray her public relations agent is wise enough to advise Ms. Spears to invest in a bulldog or get out of the pet-carrying habit altogether. As much as we all would like to catch a glimpse of the newly shorn Britney feeding Bit-Bit a nibble of cheesy beef from In and Out Burger, or dancing on a table at Mr. Chows, with a tiny red bracelet around his hairless body, the mere idea of such a picture would be certain suicide for our proudly emerging superstar. These are dark days for Bit-Bit. Thank God Britney’s future looks considerably brighter.
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Posted: Sunday, March 7th, 2010 @ 7:24 am
Categories: Britney.
Tags: M Ms, Pop Tart, Precipice.
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